Well, I guess I called it, months ago. Welcome to the world of Pokemon, indeed.
I’ve not beaten Black and White; that would be ridiculous. Rather, I’ve sunk a good half dozen hours into the title, and this has given me time to form impressions of the game. Read on, to find out!
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Lost in the bustle of Tokyo Games Show has been Pokemon Black and White nearing release in Japan. Oh, well, we didn’t forget. And neither did Serebii, who have all the Pokemon in the new game available in list form. With pictures, typings, and occasional stats. And you know you’re curious.
Some quick notes, because I’m sleepy. First, there’s twelve legendaries. TWELVE. Sure, they might not all be legendaries, but they’re mostly after the cover Pokemon in number, so I’m assuming they’re Pokemon. Second, there are a *lot* of three evolution Pokemon, by my count. This is not a scientific conclusion, but there are a lot of Pokemon that seem like they could be viable in the end game, which is pretty fantastic.
And the typings! Oh lord the typings. We have in new types: psychic/fire, psychic/flying, ground/dark, dark/fight, normal/grass, electric/flying, bug/steel, water/ghost (yes!), bug/electric, grass/steel, ghost/fire (yes!!), electric/ground, ground/ghost (fucker is a champ!), dark/steel, dark/dragon (fuck yeah!), and bug/fire. And in old but awesome types, we have new ground/steel, water/rock, rock/flying, water/flying (possibly the most adorable Pokemon ever, by the way), and dark/flying. Oh, and the legendaries are all batshit random types like dragon/ice.
Also, #614? Three penis bear. THREE PENIS BEAR!
What I’m trying to say is I like the little guys. I’m pumped. Pokemon’s one of the few series I’m excited for, and I can’t wait for this one.
Okay, I freely admit: at this point, four days from its Japanese release, I’m excited about Pokemon Black and White. Genuinely excited. The kind of excitement I reserve for things like Bastion, or for firing up a game of Solium Infernum in a couple minutes. When I’m done making fun of these Pokemon.
This will forever be the only post on the internet tagged both with Pokemon and a hex strategy game about ruling hell. I’d like to point this out.
Anyway, there are new Pokemon. Pocket Monsters, if you will. And we’ve got some fine, respectful comments about them, because this is the last time we get to do this. After this, I will endeavor to radio silence about Pokemon Black and White, so that I will be surprised when I find Pokemon X in Pokezone B.
And not different in that some Pokemon aren’t in one version that are in the other. Oh no. Oh no. We’re talking actual differences. See those two areas above? Well, the city’s going to be in Pokemon Black. The forest is only in Pokemon White. They occupy the same space in the game world, in fact.
Personally, I’m pretty enthused. I’ve been playing every Pokemon game that exists recently (have beaten Red and Crystal, now working on Emerald), and you know what? It seems like Nintendo finally has a good grasp on what makes a good Pokemon game and what detracts from the experience. Differences between the games is another good sign, because…it’s always fun doing different things than your friends when it comes to Pokemon.
There were also new Pokemon revealed, which are too blurry to comment on. One looks like a big ol’ blue octopus. I’ll leave it at that.
Well, depends what your definition of fun is. I have good news and bad news. The good news is there’s new Pokemon, and they look pretty fantastic. The bad news is that, with so much awesome padding, I can’t really slag them too much. They look like Pokemon I’d love to have on my team, which makes it tough to insult them.
You know, this is the best thing I’ve read all day. All week, even. Pokemon Black and White’s gambit is that every Pokemon you get until you beat the Elite Four (I assume there’ll be an Elite Four) will be completely, utterly new.
As much as the new Pokemon have kind of sucked, I approve of this decision. While I wouldn’t argue games like Pokemon Diamond and Pearl were hurt by having so many Pokemon, they were a very different experience from Red and Blue. Red and Blue were focused mostly on discovery, the novelty of the new Pokemon, while Diamond and Pearl were much more grinding-based experiences. Not that they had more grinding, but that was the focus, as opposed to Red and Blue. And I think when lots of Pokemon veterans say, “I hate this series!”, they mean they hate the grinding, and miss the exploration.
So good on Gamefreak for realizing what the people want, and then delivering it. They may have single handedly made me excited for the direction of the franchise again.
Informational if you speak fluent Japanese, at least.
And mostly information about the new contests, and the new….Pokemon flower garden. Hooray. Apparently your pokemon can live in a house, and have a garden, and Smugleaf can wear a bow on his head. I’m gushing with excitement here, and no one can accuse me of not being excited about Pokemon.
What we do have is two new pokemon! At 3:17, we get Bambi. You might say, no, shit, it can’t be Bambi! Nope. It’s Bambi. It’s FUCKING BAMBI. There is no negotiation here. It is an adorable deer. It’s probably normal type. It sucks. Oh, and speaking of normal type, at 5:25 we see the evolution of Kool Aid Raccoon, who you might recognize from my previous link. You can tell it’s an evolution because it’s got the same cancerous eyes. It’s just taller. And there’s 2 of them! Jesus Christ.
Other than that, it looks like a slightly improved HeartGold/SoulSilver. Incremental improvements, eat your heart out! We’ll keep you posted.
You’ve got me, gentle reader: I’ve got nothing to post today. Sure, there’s a really questionable new legendary in Pokemon Black and White, but I care as much about legendaries as I do about Hannah Montana. And it’s too hot for vitriol.
The only things I can do are eat delicious shortbread and listen to the new Arcade Fire record. Because I am a fucking hipster. In the middle, somewhere, there was Super Mario Ragtime, which is pretty awesome. And the guy looks weird. That is an understated plus in this business of posting youtube videos.
The hardest part of this post was finding something more horrible than the things that are below, beneath the cut. It was hard work, dear reader! Fortunately, the above picture was provided for me, and off we’ve gone.
Now, you might recall that other new Pokemon have been announced, and were universally terrible compared to the guiding light of Smugleaf. Now, new, horrible Pokemon exist, and we will continue to judge them against the glory that is the Smug one!
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